It’s the most loneliest time of the year…Okay that may be a little hyperbolic. But singles do report feeling lonelier around this time of year, which is understandable!All of the holiday ads marketing gifts for that special someone. The struggle of decorating the Christmas tree solo. Holiday party invites with the option of a plus one (“It’ll just be me and my supermarket pie again.”). Family gatherings with relatives asking, “Why you’re still single?” Holiday greeting cards with pictures of happy families. The threat of mistletoe around every corner. Oh, and don’t forget the looming pressure of the infamous New Year’s Eve kiss. Yes, this time of yearis pretty much a barrage of land mines for singles.
But fear not, I have sought the advice of a celebrity matchmaker and dating coach with a confirmed 90% success rate to help us navigate the holiday terrain. Brandan Rader hasworked with hundreds of singles—including celebrities like Jennifer Aniston, Melissa Rivers, and Patti Stanger. Did I mention he is the only dating coach and matchmaker who is also a psychological researcher! He has investigated first date to divorce date and has a wealth of knowledge.
Whether you’re searching for your new belle or beau,following these10-festivetips from Brandan will help ensure the jingle bells aren’t the only thing rockinthis season (wink, wink).
- The Count Down: Dating is just like any other goal and should be approached as such. Give yourself measurable actions to help you reach the larger goal (e.g., meeting 5 new candidates this month, messaging 4 potential candidates via social media per week, flashing a smile for at least one attractive person per week). Remember, dating is a numbers game, and you never know how many you must count down from to find the one.
- A Christmas Story:Many people meet their significant other from their social circle and with the power of social media, you have an infinite network at your fingertips. So, take advantage of it! Start engaging with your social media network to find out who is single and to let them know you’re single. Perhaps someone in your social media circle is pining for you but has been hesitant to reach out or vice versa. Add to Story on your Instagram or Facebook asking people to comment with a red heart if they are taken and a green heart if they are single (e.g., Who is single all the way this season? Comment with a red heart for taken or a green heart for single!). You can also make a post with the same prompt, but stories tend to reach more people in your network. Not only is this a merry way to engage, but it also informs you who is available in your greater social circle. If you receive a green heart from someone you’ve been crushing on, reciprocate the green heart and see where the conversation takes you. OR take it a step further by suggesting you two connect over some spiked eggnog IRL or virtually (if you live in different geographic areas).
- The Christmas Party Hop: The good thing about being single all the way is you’re not truly alone. According to Statista approximately 36 million Americans are singles as of 2020. And with the seasonal pressure, many singles are seeking authentic connection. But where are they congregating? Well, there is an increase of singles mixers around this time of year. Two resources to find single mixers near you are Meetup and The Fun Singles.
- Deck the Halls:Anenticing environment invites romantic candidates. Put up a tree and decorate your home in holiday style. Capturethe moment and ambience in a flattering photo and post it to your social media or add it to your dating profile (e.g., you hanging the last ornament on the tree or drinking hot cocoa by the fire). People love to see semi-candid photos that paint a picture of your personality and environment (it just might get them thinking about sitting next to you by the fire).
- Naughty and Nice List:It tis the season of giving, and this is the perfect time to give missed opportunities a second chance. Visit your little black book to create a naughty and nice list. People who possess non-starters go on the naughty list. People with whom you didn’t quite spark but seemed like an overall good person go on the nice list. Then, reconnect with the most promising candidates on your nice list (e.g., a simple glass of wine or coffee). Sometimes all it takes is one more date to spark a connection!
- Christmas Stockings (oh, I meant Stalking): Dating is about more than finding romantic candidates, it’s also about finding quality candidates. Don’t be ashamed to do a little online stalking before committing to a date to ensure a candidate possesses some of your must-haves. For example, if you meet a candidate via an online dating platform—such as Hinge or Bumble—search for them on social media (e.g., LinkedIn or Facebook)to ensure they are representing themselves accurately (e.g., their profession, appearance, and lifestyle).
- Leave Out Some Cookies:Most people are acquainted with the holiday rush; a flurry ofwork and social life. So much so that people neglect self-care (e.g., haircuts, manicures, skincare, exercise, healthy eating). But if you want to attract a quality mate you need to feel good (and looking good doesn’t hurt either). So, leave out some of the cookies, invest in self-care, and make yourself look like a holiday treat.
- Maybe Just Half a Drink More:People always seem to be preoccupied, especially during the holiday season. One of the biggest reasons for a lack of romantic opportunities is not making time for them. Love can’t happen on a tight schedule. Make the time to sit at a popular coffee shop to people watch for an hour, instead of using the drive-through Imbibe at a trendy bar solo, in place ofbeer or wine at home. Be in the moment, don’t be on your phone, look around, and maybe have just half a drink more.
- Take a Holiday: Looking for love in all same places will likely produce the same results. So, if you haven’t found ideal candidates in your city, they may be living somewhere else (most people don’t fall in love with the person next door). This season, take a singles holiday that all of the couples will envy, such as Pure Salt Port Adriano – Mallorca, Spain,BodyHoliday Saint Lucia, or Temptation Cancun Resort – All Inclusive – Adults Only.
- All I Want for Christmas: Now, you might be too old to send your wish list to Santa, but you can still send one to a matchmaker! If you have never considered matchmaking services, you should. While Santa is delivering toys all over the world, matchmakers are making love connections. If you don’t want to invest in being a client, you can start by becoming candidate for Brandan’s matchmaking for free! Don’t know where to start? Go to
https://www.brandanrader.com/matchmaking and submit your information to start the conversation, and don’t forget your wish list.
Don’t forget to follow Brandan on Instagram @brandanraderoffical for free tips and special offers!